So today was a much-needed day off for me, as I am currently over-worked, under-rested, and incredibly subdued by a head cold that I contacted from someone who is quite possibly the cutest, sweetest, and most charming man I've ever met. I knew he had the workings of a cold when we went out on our 4th and 5th dates last week, and when we shared the sweetest of first-kisses ever imagined, and then the sweetest of second and third and so-on and so-forth. A day went by with nothing, and just when I thought I'd dodged the bullet of my Season's First Cold - BAM! I ran straight into the wall that is a Severe Head Cold. Yuuuck. Thanks, Ben. If its any consolation, that was the MOST fun I've ever had getting a head cold ;-)
So anyway, I worked a 14 hour, stress-fueled shift on Saturday, dragged myself out of bed yesterday to work a nearly-10 hour shift and make 2 wedding cakes, then came home at 5pm. I was in bed by 5:29pm, and didn't wake up again until midnight. Then I fell back asleep around 1:30am and didn't get up again until 9am. Went to breakfast with some friends, ran to the store to get more medicine, cleaned up my room a little, burned Ben the new Anberlin CD, then fell back asleep from 3pm until 7:30pm.
Let's recap, people. In a little over a 24-hour span of time, I was asleep for 18 1/2 hours, or 77% of the time.
The good thing is, I'm feeling MUCH much better! Still tired, though. And I've been awake for an hour and a half with no fever, so I think I'm through the worst of it.
Bringing me back on track, because I did not intend to spend this post complaining about how terrible head colds are, as I'm sure you are well aware, I have had a chance today to be lazy and surf the internet for everything and nothing all at the same time. And being that I miss Ben like CRAZY right now and will not be seeing him again until Halloween, I am making him a little care package to send home to NH (did I mention that he lives in NH? I may have forgotten that. Hence why I miss him so much, and why we don't get to see each other very often... We've been going on dates for about a month now, but only when I get the chance to make the 4 1/2 hour drive back home to Portsmouth). He introduced me to my new favorite band, Anberlin, and he burned me one of their old CDs, so I burned him a copy of their newest CD ("Dark Is The Way, Light Is A Place".... amazing!). I'm also sending him a few postcards of The Sagamore and the Lake George region where I am living. I made him some chocolate truffles and packaged them up nice. And finally, as I was preparing to write him the first of many (I hope!) sweet little love notes, I decided to do some research on the internet for some wise, intelligent, sexy, and sweet quote to put in the letter. And I stumbled upon this:
When We Were Young
Do you remember a time before we were worried about boys, when girlfriends were what we knew? Our little playmates. Someone we could giggle with and talk to without reservations. Perhaps a time came that began betrayal, confidences broken, hurtful conversations ending in broken friendships. And then wondering why we trust at all. Why we would put our true selves out for judgement and discouragement? Ridicule and pain? This is a time for healing. As women, as girlfriends.
We enter relationships and become girlfriends, wives, mothers, aunts, and grandmothers. All of these titles that get us caught up in what we are supposed to do, how we are supposed to act, expectations because of the title we hold. This may describe a place in your life, it does not define the woman you are.
So, if you haven't already, take a step back. Observe where you have come from and where you are now. Where had you intended to be? When were paths chosen that led away from your authentic self? When did the hurts begin to define you? When did you begin to invite people in your life that discourage you? When did you begin to hold on to those people as if they held the truth to who you are as a woman? When did you lose sight of your Spirit? Who you are in truth. Because your Creator, the Creator of all Spirit and life, gave you this journey with choices to make. Power within you to choose your paths. To choose people who will lift you up and celebrate with you!
Now is the time to begin, or continue, your healing. This life of Purpose and Passion and all the lessons we are blessed to learn~ when we choose.
Now, Girlfriend, begin your Celebration and we will Celebrate with you!
...Ummmm, destiny much??? How completely does that describe most of my life right now??? "When did the hurts begin to define you? When did you begin to invite people in your life that discourage you? When did you begin to hold on to those people as if they held the truth to who you are as a woman?" That has been something I've been struggling with ALL SUMMER LONG. It is such a relief to find someone who addresses everything I've thought and felt for so long! Anyway, I went to Google and typed in "the girlfriend motto" and got this website http://celebrategirlfriend.weebly.com/. I definitely reccomend visiting it, reading it, learning from it, and living it! Celebrate, Girlfriend!!!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Honey, we have a lot of catching up to do...
That's an understatement. My job as executive Pastry Chef has kept me beyond busy and all-out exhausted. I would like to give a laundry list of excuses as to why I haven't updated, even just a little tiny bit, over the past 4 or so months...
... But to be honest with you, I have learned over the past 4 or so months that "excuses are the nails that build the house of failure." Or so I've been told. Failure and I are not on speaking terms at the moment, luckily, so I will take it from someone else. So how can I wrap up my Summer of 2010 in a few short sentences?
Busy.
Hectic.
Stressful.
Crazy.
Long.
Confusing.
Frustrating.
Heart-breaking.
Almost done...
Within a few short months, this whole experience will be behind me, and I will have a whole new journey to look forward to. Before that, however, I have a few very hard questions to answer: where will my journey start? Do I return to the Wentworth for a few months and continue to scrape and save and pay my bills? Do I head West with my beautiful and loving Goddess-sister and her new man and spend a few blissful weeks in Wine Country, California? Do I start the whole "hotel bakeshop" process over by moving to Woodstock, VT? Do I return to The Sagamore for the Summer of 2011 and see if it is more successful than this past one has been?
Just when I think I can give myself a well-deserved pat on the back for surviving the toughest 6 months of my life, I pause mid-pat and wonder, "Should I come back next season? Will it be better? Will it be easier? Will I have more control and power?" Then the memories and horrors of this summer flood my mind, I shake my head vigorously and determinedly. No, I can't come back to this. Why would I want to? Shouldn't I be preparing to open my own bakeshop somewhere? Shouldn't I be preparing to spend several, heavenly weeks drunk in a vineyard in northern California?
And then.... What would my co-workers think of me? What would my bakeshop staff think of me? What kind of pastry chef am I to give it all up, just like that, after one season of struggle? I know it is a legitimate struggle and everyone goes through it, but shouldn't I just be tough? Wouldn't people respect me more, as a chef, if I persevere and prove that I can do it?
*sigh* My brain hurts. And it's hot out. And my laundry basket is overflowing, as is my kitchen sink. Despite all of this, all I want to do is curl up outside on a blanket in the grass, with a book and a bowl of strawberry chardonnay sorbet that I made this morning... Yum...
... But to be honest with you, I have learned over the past 4 or so months that "excuses are the nails that build the house of failure." Or so I've been told. Failure and I are not on speaking terms at the moment, luckily, so I will take it from someone else. So how can I wrap up my Summer of 2010 in a few short sentences?
Busy.
Hectic.
Stressful.
Crazy.
Long.
Confusing.
Frustrating.
Heart-breaking.
Almost done...
Within a few short months, this whole experience will be behind me, and I will have a whole new journey to look forward to. Before that, however, I have a few very hard questions to answer: where will my journey start? Do I return to the Wentworth for a few months and continue to scrape and save and pay my bills? Do I head West with my beautiful and loving Goddess-sister and her new man and spend a few blissful weeks in Wine Country, California? Do I start the whole "hotel bakeshop" process over by moving to Woodstock, VT? Do I return to The Sagamore for the Summer of 2011 and see if it is more successful than this past one has been?
Just when I think I can give myself a well-deserved pat on the back for surviving the toughest 6 months of my life, I pause mid-pat and wonder, "Should I come back next season? Will it be better? Will it be easier? Will I have more control and power?" Then the memories and horrors of this summer flood my mind, I shake my head vigorously and determinedly. No, I can't come back to this. Why would I want to? Shouldn't I be preparing to open my own bakeshop somewhere? Shouldn't I be preparing to spend several, heavenly weeks drunk in a vineyard in northern California?
And then.... What would my co-workers think of me? What would my bakeshop staff think of me? What kind of pastry chef am I to give it all up, just like that, after one season of struggle? I know it is a legitimate struggle and everyone goes through it, but shouldn't I just be tough? Wouldn't people respect me more, as a chef, if I persevere and prove that I can do it?
*sigh* My brain hurts. And it's hot out. And my laundry basket is overflowing, as is my kitchen sink. Despite all of this, all I want to do is curl up outside on a blanket in the grass, with a book and a bowl of strawberry chardonnay sorbet that I made this morning... Yum...
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Just another day in Paradise...
The Adirondack National Forest (or is it the Adirondack National Park? Anyway....) is beautiful. When I arrived here in early April, Spring was struggling to make known its presence. Over the past two months, Spring has sprung and gone, making way for an even more beautiful (and pollen-ful) start to summer. I wish I could say I've been enjoying every moment to its fullest, but alas, it is hard to enjoy the beauty of the North Eastern New York nature when you spend 75 +/- hours a week in a dungeon bakeshop at The Sagamore Hotel.
*sigh*
I should write more, but my heavy eyelids deceive me, and I must get some rest before work at 6am....
*sigh*
I should write more, but my heavy eyelids deceive me, and I must get some rest before work at 6am....
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Armageddon USED to be my favorite movie
Lately, New Hampshire and most of New England has been subject to some pretty wild weather. We're talking brutal winds. Torrential rain. Rapidly changing temperatures. Huge, powerful waves. Flooding so bad, thoughts of building an Arc aren't such a bad idea anymore (anyone have access to a pair of hyenas? Cheetahs? Giraffes?) Every morning I wake up and peek out my window, expecting brimstone and hail at any moment. Armageddon, perhaps?
Okay, maybe not that extreme. But still, pretty alarming. The crazy weather we've been experiencing is beginning to make an appearance in my thoughts and dreams at night. Just this past night (or morning, should I say, since I had this dream at about 5:00 this morning), I dreamed of tornadoes and falling trees, and rain that came down in sheets like the water from a shower-head. I was with several people, my mom being one, but I don't quite remember who else. We were in the backyard of my sister's God-parents' house in Greenland, NH, but her God-parents weren't there. It was windy and raining, but we were still running around in the backyard, until a small funnel tornado appeared at the edge of the tree line. We ran for shelter, but I remember watching a giant tree snap in half like a twig and fall. And then roll, crushing other trees in its path. I know that isn't possible but hey, it was a dream. This sequence repeated several times, a tornado appearing and us running for shelter, then going back outside and it happening all over again. I think I got annoyed with the repetition, which is what woke me from the dream.
Pretty strange.
What else is going on, besides inclement weather? My birthday is quickly approaching, Easter Sunday. Happy Birthday to me: I get to work a double shift because Easter is pretty busy at the Wentworth. I went to dinner last night at Brazo with Deb and some friends, for Restaurant Week. I'd never been to Brazo before, even though it is one of Phelps's restaurants. I was very impressed! Restaurant Week is a week-long event, it happens about twice a year, in which 30 or so area restaurants participate. They create a special menu, or select certain items from their regular menu, and offer a 3-course meal for a set price. Lunch is $16.95 set price, and dinner is $29.95. It has proven very successful in the past couple of years, and is something that we all look forward to each year. So last night at Brazo, I ordered the following:
....Which won't be for some time, I'm afraid. You see.... I am MOVING! To New York! Ah! I have been asked to travel within my company and head to The Sagamore Hotel and Resort in Bolton Landing, NY, which is on Lake George. I am going to be the Assistant Pastry Chef there, in training for the Executive Pastry Chef position, should the current EPC decide to leave. I leave for NY on Monday the 5th with a stop in Burlington for a day or so. I will be in Bolton Landing on April 7th and ready to start work on the 8th. The hotel is seasonal, so it is only open until after Thanksgiving, and then closes for the winter. So I will be returning to the NH Seacoast in about 8 months. This is a really good opportunity for me to learn about the workings of a much larger bakeshop and its production (the Sagamore is about twice the size of the Wentworth and does a little more than double the production that we do). It is also a good opportunity to network with other chefs, and also a good resume booster. Plus, I have an opportunity to advance my career... though I'm not particularly certain this is the direction I want my career to take. However, it will be a good experience nonetheless.
I think one of the best parts of being in NY is how close I will be to Burlington! I think it's about an hour away, so I will be able to see my sweet, wonderful Bear more often! And my Goddess-sister, when she returns to New England from her adventures and travels. Which, by the way, I simply cannot wait to hear about! I believe she will be returning on the day I leave, so hopefully I will get to see her soon enough! So, I'd better sign off and return to packing. I never realized how much junk I've managed to accumulate throughout my life, and sifting through it to pack and organize (take to NY vs. leave behind) has not been an easy task. However, I was pleased to discover some pictures from my high school senior prom back in 2002 and reflect on how handsome my Bear was in his CG dress uniform! I mean, of course he is still so handsome and VT rugged now :-) Ok, back to packing...
Okay, maybe not that extreme. But still, pretty alarming. The crazy weather we've been experiencing is beginning to make an appearance in my thoughts and dreams at night. Just this past night (or morning, should I say, since I had this dream at about 5:00 this morning), I dreamed of tornadoes and falling trees, and rain that came down in sheets like the water from a shower-head. I was with several people, my mom being one, but I don't quite remember who else. We were in the backyard of my sister's God-parents' house in Greenland, NH, but her God-parents weren't there. It was windy and raining, but we were still running around in the backyard, until a small funnel tornado appeared at the edge of the tree line. We ran for shelter, but I remember watching a giant tree snap in half like a twig and fall. And then roll, crushing other trees in its path. I know that isn't possible but hey, it was a dream. This sequence repeated several times, a tornado appearing and us running for shelter, then going back outside and it happening all over again. I think I got annoyed with the repetition, which is what woke me from the dream.
Pretty strange.
What else is going on, besides inclement weather? My birthday is quickly approaching, Easter Sunday. Happy Birthday to me: I get to work a double shift because Easter is pretty busy at the Wentworth. I went to dinner last night at Brazo with Deb and some friends, for Restaurant Week. I'd never been to Brazo before, even though it is one of Phelps's restaurants. I was very impressed! Restaurant Week is a week-long event, it happens about twice a year, in which 30 or so area restaurants participate. They create a special menu, or select certain items from their regular menu, and offer a 3-course meal for a set price. Lunch is $16.95 set price, and dinner is $29.95. It has proven very successful in the past couple of years, and is something that we all look forward to each year. So last night at Brazo, I ordered the following:
- Ahi tuna tartar with capers, lemon, soy, red onion, cilantro aioli and sweet potato chips (absolutely DELICIOUS!)
- Roasted acorn squash filled with a savory mixture of quinoa, sautéed zucchini, red pepper, and goat cheese. Served with black bean puree and watercress salad
- Pistachio studded chocolate terrine with candied pistachios, raspberry coulis, and burnt orange mascarpone cream
....Which won't be for some time, I'm afraid. You see.... I am MOVING! To New York! Ah! I have been asked to travel within my company and head to The Sagamore Hotel and Resort in Bolton Landing, NY, which is on Lake George. I am going to be the Assistant Pastry Chef there, in training for the Executive Pastry Chef position, should the current EPC decide to leave. I leave for NY on Monday the 5th with a stop in Burlington for a day or so. I will be in Bolton Landing on April 7th and ready to start work on the 8th. The hotel is seasonal, so it is only open until after Thanksgiving, and then closes for the winter. So I will be returning to the NH Seacoast in about 8 months. This is a really good opportunity for me to learn about the workings of a much larger bakeshop and its production (the Sagamore is about twice the size of the Wentworth and does a little more than double the production that we do). It is also a good opportunity to network with other chefs, and also a good resume booster. Plus, I have an opportunity to advance my career... though I'm not particularly certain this is the direction I want my career to take. However, it will be a good experience nonetheless.
I think one of the best parts of being in NY is how close I will be to Burlington! I think it's about an hour away, so I will be able to see my sweet, wonderful Bear more often! And my Goddess-sister, when she returns to New England from her adventures and travels. Which, by the way, I simply cannot wait to hear about! I believe she will be returning on the day I leave, so hopefully I will get to see her soon enough! So, I'd better sign off and return to packing. I never realized how much junk I've managed to accumulate throughout my life, and sifting through it to pack and organize (take to NY vs. leave behind) has not been an easy task. However, I was pleased to discover some pictures from my high school senior prom back in 2002 and reflect on how handsome my Bear was in his CG dress uniform! I mean, of course he is still so handsome and VT rugged now :-) Ok, back to packing...
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