Celebrate, Girlfriend!

So today was a much-needed day off for me, as I am currently over-worked, under-rested, and incredibly subdued by a head cold that I contacted from someone who is quite possibly the cutest, sweetest, and most charming man I've ever met. I knew he had the workings of a cold when we went out on our 4th and 5th dates last week, and when we shared the sweetest of first-kisses ever imagined, and then the sweetest of second and third and so-on and so-forth. A day went by with nothing, and just when I thought I'd dodged the bullet of my Season's First Cold - BAM! I ran straight into the wall that is a Severe Head Cold. Yuuuck. Thanks, Ben. If its any consolation, that was the MOST fun I've ever had getting a head cold ;-)

So anyway, I worked a 14 hour, stress-fueled shift on Saturday, dragged myself out of bed yesterday to work a nearly-10 hour shift and make 2 wedding cakes, then came home at 5pm. I was in bed by 5:29pm, and didn't wake up again until midnight. Then I fell back asleep around 1:30am and didn't get up again until 9am. Went to breakfast with some friends, ran to the store to get more medicine, cleaned up my room a little, burned Ben the new Anberlin CD, then fell back asleep from 3pm until 7:30pm.

Let's recap, people. In a little over a 24-hour span of time, I was asleep for 18 1/2 hours, or 77% of the time.

The good thing is, I'm feeling MUCH much better! Still tired, though. And I've been awake for an hour and a half with no fever, so I think I'm through the worst of it.

Bringing me back on track, because I did not intend to spend this post complaining about how terrible head colds are, as I'm sure you are well aware, I have had a chance today to be lazy and surf the internet for everything and nothing all at the same time. And being that I miss Ben like CRAZY right now and will not be seeing him again until Halloween, I am making him a little care package to send home to NH (did I mention that he lives in NH? I may have forgotten that. Hence why I miss him so much, and why we don't get to see each other very often... We've been going on dates for about a month now, but only when I get the chance to make the 4 1/2 hour drive back home to Portsmouth). He introduced me to my new favorite band, Anberlin, and he burned me one of their old CDs, so I burned him a copy of their newest CD ("Dark Is The Way, Light Is A Place".... amazing!). I'm also sending him a few postcards of The Sagamore and the Lake George region where I am living. I made him some chocolate truffles and packaged them up nice. And finally, as I was preparing to write him the first of many (I hope!) sweet little love notes, I decided to do some research on the internet for some wise, intelligent, sexy, and sweet quote to put in the letter. And I stumbled upon this:

When We Were Young
Do you remember a time before we were worried about boys, when girlfriends were what we knew? Our little playmates. Someone we could giggle with and talk to without reservations. Perhaps a time came that began betrayal, confidences broken, hurtful conversations ending in broken friendships. And then wondering why we trust at all. Why we would put our true selves out for judgement and discouragement? Ridicule and pain? This is a time for healing. As women, as girlfriends.

We enter relationships and become girlfriends, wives, mothers, aunts, and grandmothers. All of these titles that get us caught up in what we are supposed to do, how we are supposed to act, expectations because of the title we hold. This may describe a place in your life, it does not define the woman you are.

So, if you haven't already, take a step back. Observe where you have come from and where you are now. Where had you intended to be? When were paths chosen that led away from your authentic self? When did the hurts begin to define you? When did you begin to invite people in your life that discourage you? When did you begin to hold on to those people as if they held the truth to who you are as a woman? When did you lose sight of your Spirit? Who you are in truth. Because your Creator, the Creator of all Spirit and life, gave you this journey with choices to make. Power within you to choose your paths. To choose people who will lift you up and celebrate with you!

Now is the time to begin, or continue, your healing. This life of Purpose and Passion and all the lessons we are blessed to learn~ when we choose.

Now, Girlfriend, begin your Celebration and we will Celebrate with you!

...Ummmm, destiny much??? How completely does that describe most of my life right now??? "When did the hurts begin to define you? When did you begin to invite people in your life that discourage you? When did you begin to hold on to those people as if they held the truth to who you are as a woman?" That has been something I've been struggling with ALL SUMMER LONG. It is such a relief to find someone who addresses everything I've thought and felt for so long! Anyway, I went to Google and typed in "the girlfriend motto" and got this website http://celebrategirlfriend.weebly.com/. I definitely reccomend visiting it, reading it, learning from it, and living it! Celebrate, Girlfriend!!!

"Liminality"

Liminality is my new favorite word. It is my (not-so-new) existence. As quoted from my deity-sister, who quoted from her mother (my Other Mother, if you will), liminality is "the middle stage of change, the threshold between what was, and what is yet to be." I feel it in my bones, in my being, and in my decision to pack up my life and move to a state where I know next to nobody. I don't know where I will work, or where I will live. But I know that I will live. And I am not frightened. I am excited! I am anxious! I am a little nervous, I will admit. But all of the good feelings take up all the space and leave little room for fear. I'm learning that this is a good way to live one's life: leave very little space for fear. And don't let fear over-stay its welcome.

Reflection: Valentine's Day at the Wentworth went very well! Everyone enjoyed everything, the menu was fantastic, brunch went smoothly, and we didn't run out of anything! I even got a second-wind at about 8 o'clock Sunday night (hour 12 of my shift), and was bouncy and excited. Probably because 9 o'clock was the end of my shift and I was excited to get home to my warm, comfortable cloud of a bed!

And then... Monday... I had a day off! Finally! It was so nice to sleep in until 10am. I spent the morning in bed, reading, relaxing. Then my roommate came home in the afternoon and we made mimosas to celebrate the return of "our house" to being Our House! (Our other two roommates, who were more like squatters than actual roommates, moved out on Sunday). We rearranged furniture, bought new pillows and a new rug, and rearranged our collection of wall clocks (15 and counting!) Tuesday brought with it a wedding cake tasting for a friend of mine, almost a foot of snow, and just a pleasant day. I love the way the seacoast looks under a blanket of freshly fallen snow, especially when it is the light and fluffy stuff. You know, the way it sparkles in the soft light of the street lights or porch lights. The way it creates almost a canopy in the trees, blanketing the branches and bowing them down, almost like nature bowing to your royalty as you cautiously creep your way along the freshly plowed roads towards your destination. Something about the freshness of the snow, before it is salted, sanded, and slushed by the hands of man, is so peaceful and beautiful. Ironically, it is quite heart-warming.

I am off to try and travel a good road in Dreamland. I was rewarded for my patience this evening with getting to spend time with my goddess-sister and my (Sleepy) Bear, who have journeyed from the Frozen Northland to spend a few days here before one heads back North, and one heads to the extreme South. Viva la Mexico! (... I don't think that's what I meant to say, but it's all I could conjure). Tomorrow brings work, wedding cake preparation, and a delightful dinner with my Other Family, whom I've missed terribly but am extremely grateful that they take me under their loving wings whenever I need. And then a quiet night with the Bear. Life is good :-)